A Mother’s Journey To Affirmation

by Pamela G. Frazier

My daughter Kyndra Danyelle Frazier revealed to me that she was lesbian about 12 years ago. On that day, I was hurt but deep down in my soul I always knew that she was struggling with her sexuality.

I always ignored it, simply too afraid to face the truth.

I prayed daily for God to deliver her from homosexuality. I cried often and I became very depressed. You see Kyndra was the “poster child” of her home church. She was an “A” student, actively involved in youth ministry, youth choir director, and the favor of God was always upon her life. She was raised in a Christian home and she was always involved in extracurricular activities that cultivated the free spirit she is.

I often questioned God as to how this could have happened, and often times I blamed myself. Soon after Kyndra’s confession, our daily conversations became very hard for me; she was my daughter and also my prayer partner. I did not know what to say, how to think, or how to feel.

The only thing I knew to do was to seek God’s face because this was the child he blessed me with. I needed him to lead, guide, and direct me as he always has. The devil tried to destroy our relationship, but against my faith, the bond we share and God’s favor, the devil never stood a chance.

As I went through a period of acceptance, God dealt with me mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

The problem was, I had my mind set on what an ideal “Christian” was. Lesbian fit nowhere in that ideology. I was raised in a time where you could not be both a Christian and gay. It was one or the other and no in between.

For those of you who may wonder, how I got over this mountain, I would like to answer by saying: Love conquers ALL. Now I understand that a change in preference does not define who a person is or what they believe in. It also does not stop God from choosing them to hold his word in their hearts and deliver it to his people.

For God reveals himself to us daily in many shapes and forms and he makes his children just as versatile. Kyndra was created by God and birthed by me, who am I to judge what he predestined to be? My love for my daughter is stronger, our prayers are powerfully moving, and our relationship is indestructible.

I support her in everything that she does and I love her with absolutely everything I am.

She is my angel…and I am proud of the beautiful, intelligent, ambitious woman she has grown to be.

Originally published in May 2013

Comments (12)

natacha castelly

I am amazed by the blessing
I am amazed by the blessing that this family is! I am honored to have had the privilege of knowing such amazing women!

Auntie Bev

I can echo every word from my
I can echo every word from my sister, Pam. We are both women of God and cling to his righteousness. Q I am resolved in knowing God is neither, “male nor female,” but the spirit of love. I am so glad, as a Christian, my role is not to judge, but to love. Kyndra, you are so respected for, “standing in your truth.” I love you, sweetie. AUNTIE BEV

Sylvia Glover

Simply Amazing.. Love u both
Simply Amazing.. Love u both!!


Amazing Story of
Amazing Story of unconditional LOVE!


I must say I don’t understand
I must say I don’t understand the use of “preference”. I don’t think any of us choose our sexual identity. It just is part of us. How others respond (lovingly as you did so well or nastily) is a preference – it is chosen!


Great to hear such a moving
Great to hear such a moving story. We are all God’s children….nothing can break the chain of mother/daughter love. KUDOS TO YOU BOTH!!!

kate r

Wonderful story. Thank you
Wonderful story. Thank you for sharing it. Love and growth toward love is my definition of God.


This is the kind of story I
This is the kind of story I love to share with my own mother as we are both learning to deal with this between us. Thank you for sharing this testimony of love.


I’ve no doubt whatsoever that
I’ve no doubt whatsoever that my beautiful daughter Emiko is chosen by God as His precious child, and loves and is loved by Him. My acceptance of who she is has brought us closer than ever. I think we both struggle with how obedience to His ideals enters in but I am trusting that to His infinite Wisdom and Grace.

Candy H

I remember all so well —
I remember all so well — wondering if my mom and family accepted me. It was a terrifying fear that they didn’t. Today, I am grateful for my mother’s and family’s acceptance. Not everyone has this kind of acceptance. I am so grateful for this mother’s love not only for her daughter, but for her openness to learn and grow. May others find this same grace.

Cheryl Faye

How beautiful. I feel blessed
How beautiful. I feel blessed to know Kyndra. She has always been such a light every time I’ve been in contact with her. I am so proud to have been part of the same church family and although I’m no longer there due to my relocation, I already know how blessed FCBC is because she is now a part of the ministerial staff. She’s such a sweet spirit and I am glad that you, Mom, have let God have God’s way in your life and hers. Continued blessings on you both.

Jeff Mummert

Beautiful Testimony to God’s Love for All

What a beautiful and moving testimony of a Mother’s love for her child, which she clearly claims as possible because of God’s love for ALL of us.  Thank you for your testimony that LOVE Conquers All!

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