How People Change

A Journey Towards Change

The faith community has available to it a resource not easily found in other settings. As a people of faith we rely on our deep spiritual traditions to create a frame for us in our relationships with each other. Moving from the contemplative practices of prayer, meditation, sacred readings, fasting and reflection to the practice of sacred conversations--the engagement with others in disciplined study and dialogue--is a process that holds the promise of discovering new spiritual insights, an honest examination of our own personal fears and attitudes and a stretching of our perspectives. It is in an attitude of humility that we find new understanding.

The process of personal growth has been extensively explored in social and psychological literature. We all come with our stories--the characters, events and experiences that have shaped us. We do not arrive at a point of view or particular attitude in a vacuum. We evolve and change, get stuck and avoid what is uncomfortable.

The Journey

•  They are challenged and confronted.
•  They are affirmed and loved.
•  They are provided safe space to try new things and consider new ideas.
•  They are held accountable and given boundaries.
•  They are invited into new experiences, which bring new awareness.
•  They are helped to manage their fears.
•  They are invited into a new vision.
•  They are given ownership in the new possibilities; they have input.
•  They have permission to fail, to get it wrong.
•  They are invited into other people’s stories and they overhear those stories.
•  They are helped to see what they are learning.
•  They are invited to share their story.
•  They are helped to see their story as part of God’s story.
•  They change their story and the story of others.

The Elements of Change

Experience:

Human development requires that individuals encounter the world outside themselves--that they sense, observe, confront or otherwise deal with discovery of the unfamiliar. Such experiences reorder our perceptions of reality and cause us to make adjustments, to redefine ourselves and/or the exterior world. Those who have moved toward greater acceptance of LGBT persons have encountered such persons as subjects rather than objects and through relationships (experience) have come to new understanding.

Awareness:

Deepening awareness of another’s reality, dispelling our assumptions about them and having a fuller portrait of them as human beings helps us to move toward openness and receptivity. New awareness is often accompanied by feelings of discomfort.

Empathy:

The ability to so identify with another or to experience their feelings or share their experience vicariously allows for a genuine leap in our understanding of who they are and how they see the world. The capacity for empathy--for truly seeing the other--changes our preconceived notions.

Compassion:

Beyond identifying with another, to feel compassion is to feel the deep desire to alleviate the distress of another, to altar their life’s circumstances for the better and to advocate for them.

Education:

Once familiar with the another’s plight and seized by compassion for them, we are motivated to learn all we can to about their circumstances, to educate ourselves and others regarding the issues involved.

Action:

Once we know the facts about a situation and have had our compassion reinforced, we often find ourselves compelled to take some form of action in an effort to change the situation for the better.

Justice:

Setting right what we have now perceived to be an injury or injustice is the final step in the process of maturation. We are no longer passive observers. At this point we have moved from our own fears, biases and self-interest to fully invest in the welfare of the other and become advocates for the just treatment of all.

This process or one similar to it has been repeated many times over by those who have moved from fear and myth to become more inclusive and welcoming of LGBT persons.