Having the Conversation

Having the Conversation

It needs to be said at the outset that starting a conversation about LGBT inclusion in a congregational context where any significant conflict preexists is not recommended.

If the issue has not been raised in the recent history of the congregation, I suggest beginning with the leadership and getting agreement to read an article, a book or study manual on the subject.

Remember the importance of setting norms and creating safe space before entering into discussion of any material.  Once the group has set behavioral norms you may want to introduce the following discussion starter:

Conversation on Homosexuality

Questions for Discussion

On a continuum of 1-10 (“1” being Scripture is inerrant and to be taken literally, to “10” Scripture requires interpretation and an understanding of context), where do you place yourself?

Agree/Disagree:
The church generally places too much emphasis on the issue of homosexuality when other issues are more important.

Agree/Disagree:
Gay and Lesbian persons can change and become heterosexual if they want to.

Agree/disagree:
Gay men are likely to be pedophiles.

Yes/ No:
I personally know and have a friendship with a gay person.

Agree/disagree:
Gay and Lesbian persons should be guaranteed their civil rights.

Agree/disagree:
Same sex attraction is against nature.

True or false:
The teachings of Jesus are clear on the issue of homosexuality.

Agree/disagree:

Sex is inherently good, but can be misused.

True or false: I can remember a time when I chose my sexual orientation or identity.

True or false: Science will eventually resolve the homosexuality issue.

True or false:
The traditional family is the most critical factor in maintaining a healthy society.
 

The guidelines for discussion include participants talking in pairs taking one question at a time.  Each person has the option to pass on any question they wish without explanation.  Once participants have completed the task, the facilitator may ask the following kinds of questions:

How was this experience for you, hard, easy, comfortable, uncomfortable?

How many exercised the option of passing on one or more of the questions?

Did partners have more agreement or more difference in your responses to the questions?

By raising these questions, the facilitator will get a read on the readiness of the group to talk more about the topic.  It also gives the facilitator the opportunity to respond to the questions before the whole group and give brief explanations of their point of view if appropriate.

With this as a context for discussion, it is helpful to begin with sharing stories.  These may be the personal stories of those in the discussion group, or published stories of others.  If using published stories that are part of common reading material help the participants explore questions about the reading.