Frequently Asked Questions
How do I find a welcoming church?
Select your state from the drop down menu above. The map will populate with different colored buttons, each indicating welcoming churches in your state. The different colors correspond to each church’s denomination (see key under map). Click on a button and the church’s contact information will appear.
What are welcoming churches like?
Welcoming churches are as diverse as Christianity itself. They vary in every way you can imagine - worship style, theology, music, size and location. As with any search for a church home, finding a welcoming church that fits is a unique and individual process. If your community is not yet home to a welcoming church that fits you, check back; our list is ever-expanding.
Do all welcoming churches believe the same things?
Welcoming churches vary in many respects, including their theology and beliefs. This variety includes their expression of LGBT-inclusion. All of the churches listed here, however, embody a bottom line belief that each of us is equal in God’s eyes.
I know a teen who is struggling with his/her identity. What can I do to help?
Most importantly, tell them you love them and support them as they are. Then assure them they are not alone. The It’s Gets Better Project has collected thousands of affirming video messages and The Trevor Project offers a free, 24-hour hotline for depressed, LGBT and questioning youth.
What can my congregation do to affirm LGBT youth?
Consider offering faith-based sex education that affirms the breadth of human sexuality, including LGBT orientations. Our Whole Lives is a comprehensive K-adult curriculum developed by the United Church of Christ and Unitarian Universalist Association that promotes self-worth, sexual health, responsibility, justice and inclusivity.
Are there organizations specifically working on promoting LGBT-inclusion in the communities of color?
Absolutely. Two organizations working on this issue in the African-American community are The Fellowship, the Unity Fellowship Church Movement. Moreover, The Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies in Religion and Ministry at Pacific School of Religion hosts The Racial/Ethnic Roundtable Project, with focus on the African-American, Latino and Asian/Pacific Islander communities.
My church is not officially a welcoming and affirming church to LGBT persons. How do we begin that process?
The Institute for Welcoming Resources has developed a non-denominational resource – Building a Welcoming Church: An Inclusive Toolkit – that can help guide your church in this process.
Another non-denominational resource is Acting Out Loud, developed by the Religious Institute.
If your church is denominationally affiliated, browse our list of partners to find the LGBT advocacy group working in your denomination.
Will talking about gays and lesbians alienate my congregation?
Starting the conversation is more likely to bring the community together than drive it apart. Many people are touched by LGBT issues, whether they identify as LGBT themselves, or have friends or loved ones who do. Discussing these issues makes the church community safer and more supportive for these individuals. When clergy and congregants maintain open lines of communication about sensitive issues like this one, they build a more cohesive church community. Elephants in the room tend to trample everyone.
What if I feel uncomfortable talking about LGBT issues?
That's okay. It's not an easy subject to talk about. Many subjects in life are difficult to share, but silence implies assent and makes change even more difficult to achieve. The resources on this page are designed to help ease your discomfort and give you some practical strategies for beginning the conversation.
What about interpretations of the Bible that say homosexuality is a sin? How do I begin the conversation if people in my church think being gay is a sin?
Bible study is a valuable tool for discerning God's will in our lives, and any conversation about homosexuality in the church should include an element of prayerful biblical study. To help guide you in this study, it may help to read about how others’ interpret the bible. Check out our Theological Resources for some suggestions.
Jesus Christ called each of us to love one another—not some of the people, not some of the time, but all the people, all the time. At its core, this is what Believe Out Loud is all about.
If my church’s denomination has not officially accepted gays and lesbians, can my individual congregation still become a welcoming church?
Absolutely. The largest mainline denominations in America each have advocacy groups that have established protocols for becoming a “welcoming” congregation. To learn more about your denomination’s process, see our Tool, Become a Welcoming Church and scroll down to find your denominational resource.
My church is non-denominational. How can my church become welcoming?
The Institute for Welcoming Resources has developed a toolkit for use by any church that wants to explore LGBT inclusion. It provides a process of study and discernment to guide you in this process. The Institute also offers hands-on training for leaders in your congregation. Another helpful resource is Acting Out Loud, a guide developed by the Religious Institute for faith communities that want to move beyond welcome toward a wider embrace of LGBT people and their families.
How Do I contact Believe Out Loud?
Find our contact information here.
Which denominations endorse marriage equality/perform same-gender holy unions?
There is a growing body of pastors from a variety of denominations who perform same-sex marriages (where legal) and holy unions (where marriage equality is not yet legal). If you are looking for a pastor to perform your ceremony, check out our Map of Welcoming Churches, which lists thousands of LGBT-inclusive churches throughout the United States.
The Institute for Welcoming Resources tracks LGBT policy at a number of major denominations. A summary of those policies on marriage equality is below:
American Baptist Church - The decision to perform LGBT unions is left up to individual churches/pastors.
Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) - The DOC does not denominationally endorse marriage equality, but there are local DOC churches and pastors who recognize and perform same-gender unions, including marriage.
Episcopal Church - The Episcopal Church recognizes the right of each of its Bishops (regional heads of church) to decide whether its diocese will perform LGBT unions, including marriage where legal. Within endorsing dioceses, the decision to perform unions is left up to individual pastors.
Evangelical Lutheran Church in America - The ELCA supports the right of local churches and pastors to bless and perform same-gender ceremonies, including marriage where legal.
Metropolitan Community Churches - The MCC denominationally endorses marriage equality and performs holy unions and same-gender marriages.
Presbyterian Church (USA) - The PCUSA does not denominationally endorse marriage equality, but they recently lifted a ban on gay clergy and there are individual Presbyterian pastors who perform holy unions and same-gender marriages.
Reformed Church in America - The RCA does not denominationally endorse marriage equality, but there are local RCA churches and pastors that recognize and perform same-gender-loving unions, including marriages.
United Church of Canada - The United Church of Canada endorses marriage equality and recognizes same-gender-loving couples; the decision to perform LGBT unions is left up to individual pastors.
United Church of Christ - The UCC denominationally endorses marriage equality and recognizes same-gender-loving couples; the decision to perform LGBT unions is left up to individual pastors. The UCC was the first mainline Protestant denomination to support marriage equality.
United Methodist Church - The UMC is denominationally against marriage equality and same-gender unions; however, there is a growing number of pastors and churches in the UMC that are intentionally defying this denominational stance and performing marriages and unions for all.
Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations - The UUA denominationally endorses marriage equality, recognizes same-gender-loving couples and performs LGBT unions.
